Just Cause

First off, I’d like to make sure everyone understands to dual pronunciations of the title. First is to accent the word “just” making the phrase mean “Noble Cause.” The second pronunciation is to turn your voice up on “just” and to slide the “cause” as in the answer to why you did something, “just cuz.” Remember this because I’ll bring it around in a nice tidy circle for you. Having said that, let’s move on…

This past weekend I attended the Live Earth concert in NJ. I say NJ because even though it says “NY,” Giants stadium is in the great Garden State. That’s just a pet peeve of everyone who lives in NJ. But I was there and Cameron Diaz showed up. All I could think about during her verbal abortion of a speech was how many causes she’s taken up and if she even knows which one she’s attending at that moment.

And not just her, but all the people, famous and otherwise, that take up causes just cause it’s the flavor of the week. I also think it’s funny how long it usually takes a fad-cause to take hold. The movement to end apartheid in South Africa really started picking up steam at the end of the 80s and the beginning of the 90s. Or how about the new fad-cause of blocking smoking everywhere including in movies? The greatest and most revered actors of all-time smoked excessively on-screen and their movies are considered legendary. Imagine a “Casablanca” wherein there is no smoking and see if the two main phrases still have their zing “Play it again, Sam” and “Get on that plane Elsa.” They lose something without that cigarette in his hand, don’t they? And the fact that he is smoking doesn’t make me want to smoke any more or less. It would be like having an action movie without guns.

But yeah, these people who take up causes just to fill their days sicken me. I know a lot of these causes are justified and are worthy, but sometimes you need to back off. I honestly think some causes are around just to distract us from other, more pertinent causes. And example is the smoking ban that distracts us from, say, getting corrupt politicians out of office. Or a law making its way through the NJ system that would give a $2000 fine to anyone not picking up after their dog in public. How about a law that says “if you embezzle millions of dollars from 401ks you don’t get to go to a white collar prison”!?!

And when celebrities take up causes it kind of hurts the cause. Sure, it’s nice if they actually believe in what they are saying. But when they say it, it kind of detracts from the cause because there are so many voicing their opinions about so much. Besides the fact that most of them have their heads up their asses and know nothing about their latest cause.

I was at a rally to help the people in Darfur. A woman walking by came up to a group of girls holding a giant banner proclaiming “Save Darfur.” The woman was curious, and as most curious people do, she asked the group of girls what Darfur was. Well, I haven’t seen blank stares like that since the Dick Tracy movie. They couldn’t even say “Here is some literature” even if they didn’t know the answer? But the fact that they were there AND holding a banner about something about which they knew nothing was absurd and makes the cause look worthless. Why should that woman care about Darfur when the girls holding the banner know nothing?

And of course, when a politician takes up a cause, it must be for political gain. I’m not saying that political gain cannot be a fruit born from the labor of the cause, but to take up a cause simply for the political gain should be a sin. But a worse sin is when opponents of that person use that cause against them for political gain. Something as simple as Democrats taking the majority because they did a better job of hiding the fact that they also voted for the war in Iraq, or the Republicans blasting Al Gore for trying to raise awareness about the environment (regardless of his personal defects in that regard).

An absurd form of taking up a cause is when someone outside of the group of people affected by an injustice speaks for that group. The most common is white people talking for minority groups. Men trying to decide if a fetus is a woman’s child or a woman’s choice. White folks telling us about how hard life is in the projects and why the food stamp system needs revamping. Affluent white women babbling on about the civil wars in South America and Africa. I’m not saying we shouldn’t try to help those who cannot help themselves, but I also think you should get your own house in order before telling the rest of us why our furniture needs rearranging. It’s like in Traffic when Michael Douglas’s character goes to Mexico to talk about the drug trade and his daughter is a coke whore.

The only time you’re allowed to take up a cause in this country, is when it directly affects you. So don’t try anything different. Like Sheryl Crow talking about cancer. Or Christopher Reeves talking about stem-cell research. If you try talking about something that doesn’t affect you, like Pamela Anderson yammering about fur, you sound elitist and out-of-touch. And no one will take your cause seriously because you’re probably just trying to plug your next movie.

George Carlin put it best, the American people like their bullshit right out in the open where they can get a nice strong whiff of it. Don’t water down a just cause, just cause you want to get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and you need to pad your stats. See what I did there? I used both pronunciations in one sentence. I told you I’d bring it around.

If you’re going to take up a cause, do it because you truly believe in it. And please, know something about it that will make people believe you know what you’re talking about. The death of any cause is misinformation. The truth will find its way out, so don’t worry about that. And it always takes a while for the greater public to get turned in the right direction. But as long as you fight the good fight and can sleep soundly at night, that’s the most you can hope for.